Relationships

Facilitating with The Focused Conversation

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I was presenting Building Antifragile Relationships and Teams at Santa Barbara Agile recently and as we worked on ideas for a conflict protocol, we started discussing the common theme of “facts vs. feelings”. I’ll point out that there was not a hard-line view in the group as to one way or another, but it came up and opened up a nice discussion on the topic.

Facilitating with the focused conversation
The Focused Conversation Poster.

I mentioned The Focused Conversation as a great tool you can use to help structure a conversation. Focused Conversations include four important categories of questions — objective, reflective, interpretive, and decision focused questions. The acronym ORID is sometimes used to describe The Focused Conversation.

The structure also provides a way to hear all of the voices that need to be heard within the group or team. You might even use this as part of an agile retrospective. Using the tool is another way to build antifragile relationships in teams and organizations.

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Building Antifragile Relationships and Teams @ Santa Barbara Agile

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Building antifragile relationships is about finding ways for our relationships to gain from disorder, or be more antifragile. What tools and practices can we use to help us thrive from disorder? What mindset do we need to hold to be present with the teams and organizations we are in?

I’m excited to be presenting a session at Santa Barbara Agile titled: “Building Antifragile Relationships and Teams.” The session will be on November 19th! You can signup and find specific details at the Santa Barbara Agile Meetup.  

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Team Toxins and Team Conflict

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Team toxins have the ability to wreak havoc on our teams and organizations if left unchecked.

Team toxins can wreck havoc on unprepared teams!
Team toxins can wreck havoc on unprepared teams!

Team toxins can lead to team conflict if people are not aware of and able to deal with toxins. Understanding team toxins is one preemptive way to deal with team conflict.

 

The four team toxins are:

  • Criticism (or Blaming)
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling
  • Contempt

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Lessons-Learned vs Project Retrospectives

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I wrote about agile team retrospectives in a recent article and find that the term retrospective can be used in many different ways. I’ve heard people ask, “Did you just change the name from lessons-learned to retrospective?” Although there are similarities, there are some key differences. Let’s review a few types and consider the issues with most lessons-learned meeting.

Release and Project Retrospectives

While agile team retrospectives  have a team focus on celebrating, learning, and improving their relationship on a regular basis, there are other types of retrospectives.

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Agile Retrospectives Improve Team Relationships

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I get a lot of questions about agile retrospectives from existing clients who are familiar with agile, those new to it, and folks who don’t use agile (so, yes: everyone!). This is one in a series of posts on retrospectives covering a variety of angles on the subject. [Agile Retrospective Resources has a list of the upcoming articles and many other resources.]

What is an agile retrospective?

Not this kind of retro!
Not this kind of retro!

An agile retrospective (often simply called a retro) is a regular ritual focused on celebrating, learning, collaborating, committing, and improving the team’s relationship.  These items, taken together form the value of an agile retrospective.  There are different types of retrospectives (e.g. release and project retrospectives); though here I am focusing here on regularly scheduled team retrospectives (e.g. sprint retrospectives or iteration retrospectives).

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Overcoming Team Toxins – Agile Mile High 2013

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Thanks to everyone who attended Overcoming Team Toxins at Agile Mile High 2013 in Denver, Colorado yesterday! Co-presenting with Erin Beierwaltes from Skipstone Consulting was a blast!

For those of you who could not attend, our team toxin presentation is based on work by John Gottman Phd. He refers to the toxins as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because of their ability to wreak havoc on relationships (teams, groups, pairs)! The Center for Right Relationships built on these ideas with a focus on a team based exercise to physically and visually interact with the toxins.

The four team toxins are:

  • Blaming
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling
  • Contempt

Here is a workshop overview:

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Metaskills Wheel

Embrace Your Agile Superpowers

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Looking forward to presenting Stop Gambling, Embrace Your Agile Superpowers!

You can find a lot more about Agile Superpowers in this detailed article: Agile Superpowers – Being Agile.

The presentation was co-developed with myself and Stephen Starkey. We will be presenting at the Scrum Gathering in Las Vegas in May. For anyone not heading to the Scrum Gathering in Vegas, I’ll be presenting at the Agile Denver Coaching SIG on 2/21. Stephen may also be presenting in the Chicago area.

Here is the overview of the workshop:

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